Dreaming about
suicide

Dreaming about suicide is frightening, and many people wake up from it afraid of what it says about them. It isn't a plan, a wish or a prediction, and people who have never had a dark thought in their lives sometimes have this dream after a stressful month or a story in the news. But if thoughts of ending your life are with you in the daytime too, the dream is not the thing to look at first. Call or text 988 in the US (or the emergency number where you live) now, and you'll reach someone who can help tonight.

Once that's set aside, the dream itself can still tell you something. Whose death was it, yours or someone else's? Did you feel panic, guilt, relief or a strange calm, and what had been happening in the days before? Those details, far more than the image itself, decide what your dream was about.

What dreaming about suicide means

Unlike most dreams of death, a suicide dream has a choice in it, because someone decides that something has to stop. That thread runs through almost every reading of it.

Wanting the pressure to stop

When life asks more of you than you can give (a job that eats your evenings, caring for a parent, a debt that keeps growing), the dream can reach for the most extreme picture there is of wanting out. Read this way, the dream is about wanting the pressure to end, which is a very different thing from wanting your life to end. Ask what you'd walk away from tomorrow if you could, because that's often the real subject.

An ending you're choosing

Some of these dreams come after a decision to close something yourself, like leaving a relationship, walking away from a career or cutting off a friend. A choice to end something can borrow the most final image there is. If the dream left you oddly calm, mention that to someone you trust too, especially if the calm follows you into the day.

Grief that keeps returning

If you've lost someone to suicide, dreaming about it is part of grieving, and it can go on for years. The dream may replay the news, give you a chance to stop it, or let you talk to the person again. None of those means you're stuck, since grief goes back over what it still can't believe at night as well as by day.

Dreaming about your own suicide

When you're the one who dies, the dream is usually about the strain of being a version of you that everyone relies on (the reliable one, the one who never says no). Pay attention to what happened afterward. Many people find themselves watching their own funeral or their family's reaction, and that part says more about whether you feel you matter to them than the death does.

Dreaming about someone else's suicide

A suicide dream about a partner, a parent or a friend belongs with the dreams of a loved one's death that many people have. Most often it's worry. You may have noticed that person is low or withdrawn, or you're afraid of losing them to a move, a breakup or a new life with no room for you. If the worry is real, talk to them, and keep 988 in mind for them as well as for yourself.

Dreaming about stopping someone from suicide

Saving someone in a dream, talking them down or reaching them just in time, tends to come from the helper in you. It shows up when you feel responsible for someone else's mood, or when you're carrying more of a friend's trouble than one person can. It's a kind dream, but it can also be a tired one, and it's fair to ask who is looking after you while you look after them.

Dreaming about suicide after a loss

After a death by suicide in your family or your circle, dreams often return to the last conversation, the missed call or the sign you think you should have seen. That guilt is one of the hardest parts of this kind of grief, and the dream gives it a stage. Dreams follow what fills your mind during the day,^[1] so these ones usually ease as the grief does. If they come every night or leave you dreading sleep, a grief counselor or a doctor can help, and nightmares themselves respond well to a few practical changes.

Dreaming about suicide according to Jung and Freud

Neither Jung nor Freud wrote about suicide dreams, so what follows applies two of their general ideas.

Jung: the dream that corrects the mask

Jung saw dreams as a corrective for any attitude you grip too hard in daylight,^[2] and his persona, the mask you wear for other people, covers roles like the reliable one, the one who never says no.^[3] Read that way, a dream of your own death can come to someone whose waking self insists everything is fine, and it shows the strain of keeping the mask up. That is a reading about pressure, not a goal or a good thing, and if the strain is there in the daytime, a doctor or someone you trust is the place to take it.

Freud: a death among the typical dreams

Freud listed the death of a person dear to the dreamer among the dreams almost everybody has,^[4] and a dream of a loved one's suicide sits close to those. He didn't write about suicide dreams, but his habit of starting from the day before often explains one: a news story, an anniversary or a call from a friend who sounded low, rearranged around a worry.

Questions to ask about your suicide dream

Before you read anything into the dream, check in with your waking days, because they matter more here than any symbol. These questions help separate the dream from your mood.

• Did the dream stay a dream, or have similar thoughts come back while you're awake?
• Who died, and how are things between you and them right now?
• What in your life do you want to stop, leave or get a break from?
• Did anything in the days before (the news, a show, an anniversary) bring the subject close?
• Was there anyone in the dream who tried to help?

Oniri starts from questions like these about your own life when it reads a dream, and it's a tool for reflection, never a stand-in for a person. If the first question got a yes, put the app down and call or text 988, or your local emergency number, now.